


another day (that i can't turn back)

by arabmorgan



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drama, M/M, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 07:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11686578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arabmorgan/pseuds/arabmorgan
Summary: Suspicion is never a particularly healthy emotion to involve in a relationship, but this brand of suspicion burns.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A [#PROVEIT](https://twitter.com/marktvn/status/889945746019168256) fic: long story short, my poor child Mark has been murdered and no one knows who did it. (Season 2 is coming out and it's not too late to get involved!)
> 
> I just wanted Yugyeom to not be a psychopath okay :( And I wanted my Yugbam but it didn't really work out, as you can probably tell. (So I might write a second chapter post-reveal, and maybe wrangle my happy Yugbam into existence, we'll see.)

On hindsight, Yugyeom should probably have expected it.

But it didn’t change the fact that it felt like a punch to the gut when Bambam stalked in, fresh from yet another round of questioning, and the first thing to leave his boyfriend’s lips was, “I think we should break up.”

“ _What_?” Yugyeom’s head snapped up, his character on the screen immediately getting pulverised in seconds. He offered a hesitant smile, certain that he had misheard. Bambam still had a rather strong accent after all.

Instead, the Thai boy rounded on Yugyeom and shoved him hard. He toppled backwards, shoulders hitting the back of the couch, and suddenly it didn’t matter that he had at least ten kilos on Bambam, or that he was half a head taller. He was _scared_ – not of what Bambam was about to do, but of what he was about to say.

“I _said_ ,” Bambam repeated mockingly, almost spitting the words, “we should _break up_.”

Yugyeom’s mouth opened, and for a horrible moment not a single sound came out from between his lips, but finally he managed to croak, “Why?”

“ _Why_?” Bambam sneered, turning away as if physically sickened by the boy he had been cuddling not two hours before. “You have some nerve, Kim Yugyeom. ‘ _I wrote a poem in English for you_ ’? Heart heart _heart_?”

Yugyeom swore the ground literally disappeared from beneath him. He lurched to his feet, unsteady, and made a grab for Bambam’s hand, but his boyfriend ( _still_ his boyfriend) was too quick, and he jerked his arm away from Yugyeom’s with an expression of disgust.

“Bam, _please_ ,” he tried, and his voice sounded thin and pathetic to his own ears. “Where did – how did you see those?”

“Seriously?” A raised brow, condescension dripping from that single motion. “Of all the things you have to say, that’s it?”

He turned to face Yugyeom fully at last, and he realised that it wasn’t just disdain lining Bambam’s face, no matter how foreign the expression was to him. There was hurt too, and a sort of stunned disbelief that pained Yugyeom more than any spiteful words Bambam could have thrown at him.

“I was just – I was trying to be friends with him. With – Mark.” Even gone, the very mention of Mark was a physical presence in the air, and Bambam took a step back. “The hearts didn’t _mean_ anything. I just thought he was _cool_. I thought maybe if I hung out with him, I would – I don’t _know_. I thought I would _become_ him. Become _like_ him.”

“Why the hell would you want to become like _Mark Tuan_?” Bambam snapped, voice rising in agitation. “I saw that selfie you took for him, with your stupid kissy face and that _stupid_ caption. I thought you didn’t mean anything by it then. I _trusted_ you. I –” He closed his eyes, head lowering, and Yugyeom wanted so badly to step forward and wrap his arms around those shaking shoulders.

“ _You’re_ my boyfriend, Bam,” he said quietly, blinking back tears. “I didn’t want to date _Mark_. I only want _you_.”

“Then why did you keep _asking about him_?” Bambam’s shriek took him by surprise, the other boy raising his narrow-eyed gaze as his words came out high, almost feral-sounding. “Mark’s next class, Mark’s swimming practice, Mark Mark _Mark_. Every damn _thing_ was about Mark. _I_ was proud of your English marks, but you only needed _Mark_.”

Yugyeom felt the backs of his knees hit the couch, and then he was sprawled on it once more, staring up at Bambam. “It was because of _you_!” he screamed back, panic breaking his voice as Bambam’s furious expression blurred before his eyes. “That one time when we were having lunch, and Mark walked past and said hi to me – you looked at him and you said he was so _perfect_ , and then you looked back at me and you looked so…so _grossed out_. Like you didn’t know why you were dating me when there was someone like _him_ around. I _saw_ your face, I _saw_ it!”

He knew he was getting hysterical, his voice rising into a raw, throaty shout as tears slid down his cheeks, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

“What the hell are you _talking_ about?” He felt Bambam grab his shoulders and shake him – not violently, but it made him cry even harder anyway. “I was being _sarcastic_. I hated his damn _guts_. I was disgusted by _him_ , not at you! How could you think –” Bambam broke off with a groan and pulled Yugyeom towards him instead, resting the taller boy’s head on his chest.

“You didn’t – you said – I thought you were looking at _me_ –” Yugyeom tried to pull away, his words coming out between gasping sobs. “I thought – if I could become more like him –”

“I hated him,” Bambam said flatly, his fingers running through Yugyeom’s thick hair soothingly. “I just didn't want to look – _jealous_. But I thought, after seeing those messages you sent him – I mean, you didn’t tell me he quit being your tutor.”

Yugyeom stilled, sniffling slightly. “When I told you Mark was proud of my English marks, you said that was _great_. I thought – I thought you wouldn’t be happy to know that he quit.”

“Yeah,” Bambam said slowly, the motions of his fingers slowing until they stopped all together. “But I thought, just maybe – I mean, you didn’t…you didn’t do it, did you?”

A starburst of betrayal exploded in Yugyeom’s mind, and this time he managed to pull away from Bambam, who only stared at him, expression stiff and set, like he was prepared to hear the worst. “I didn’t – I would _never_ – I can’t believe you think I did it.”

Relief seeped slowly into Bambam’s features, and he started hastily, “Of course not. I just saw that you were so mad in those messages you sent him, and –”

“You said he was _dead meat_ the last time you texted him,” Yugyeom said quietly, his voice suddenly terribly cold, and Bambam paled. “Yeah, I saw those messages too, just like you saw mine. And now you’ve just told me you hated him. Hated his _guts_.”

“I didn’t –” Bambam sputtered, fear making his features waxy.

“I never thought you did,” Yugyeom interrupted, with a bitter twist to his lips, “but I guess it’s not so hard for _you_ to think _I’m_ a murderer, is it?”

“Gyeom, no,” Bambam whispered, but Yugyeom only stood and pushed his way past the slighter boy.

“I need some _fresh air_ ,” he snapped, and he made sure to slam the door hard on his way out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm...not fully satisfied with this but I think this is as good as it's gonna get. I didn't expect it to get so _sappy_ (I'm literally Bam, like cheesiness kills me).

This time, it was Yugyeom who burst into their dorm, eyes huge and Bambam’s name spilling from his lips.

“Yugyeom?” Bambam peeked around the corner, alarmed, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he met his boyfriend’s gaze apprehensively. At least, he _thought_ they were still dating – this was the first thing Yugyeom had said to him in three days, and the only upside was that Yugyeom actually had to _say_ something if he wanted to break up with Bambam.

“They –” Yugyeom paused to take a breath, chest heaving as if he had run all the way from the library (which, as it turned out, he had). “They took them away, the _police_. Im Jaebum and Park Jinyoung. They’re saying they killed Mark _together_.”

“ _What_?” Bambam shook his head, trying to fit the right faces to those names. “You mean…Mark’s friend? And that swimmer? But why would they –” He broke off, still shaking his head. They had all seen the evidence – those damning messages and emails that had somehow leaked all around the school, painting each of them with motive and guilt.

They had _all_ been suspects, although some had, perhaps, been more heavily suspected than most.

He looked at Yugyeom, taking in those familiar, beloved features in the way he hadn’t been able to for the past few days. The younger boy looked undeniably gaunt, his cheekbones startlingly prominent and his eyes red-rimmed. His usual oversized pullover hung off him in a way that looked more underfed than fashionable.

“They caught them,” Yugyeom repeated, and this time Bambam could hear the undertones of desperate relief that lightened those words.

“It’s okay, Gyeom. It’s over,” Bambam murmured, and somehow he found the courage to emerge fully into the living room and walk forward, arms raised slightly in invitation. (Somehow, he dared to hope for forgiveness that he didn’t fully deserve.)

Yugyeom crashed into him with all the force of a huge puppy that didn’t yet know its own strength, and it was a miracle that Bambam managed to keep his balance. He pressed his face into the soft material of Yugyeom’s sweater and inhaled deeply, felt the other boy’s chin tuck snugly over his own shoulder, and he let his eyes slide shut.

It was madness, he realised, to have ever suspected Yugyeom of anything worse than forgetting to take the trash out. After all, who was the liar who had been sneaking out every week for _months_ on end just to get his weed fix? Who was the liar who had smiled to Yugyeom’s face every time Mark’s name had been brought up?

Bambam felt like a fool, and worse, he felt like an absolute _dickhead_ for having left Yugyeom to face the wolves alone. He had heard the rumours, of course – that Yugyeom had no concrete alibi for the time of the murder, that he was tall and surely that meant he was strong, that he was sick in the head and obsessed with the victim. That he was a killer.

The school grapevine could be merciless, the vengeful swim team even more so.

But Yugyeom hadn’t been speaking to him by then, probably hadn’t been speaking much to _anyone_ at all, and Bambam just – hadn’t been able to find it in himself to break the silence.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, voice muffled against fabric, arms tightening around a too-thin frame. He could feel Yugyeom shaking, a minute shiver of suppressed emotion, and it broke his heart. Yugyeom had never been made to withstand such hostile pressure, from people who didn’t even know the first thing about him.

The taller boy pulled back slightly, a weak smile gracing his features, eyes crinkling ever so slightly in a way that made Bambam want to cry. “It’s okay,” he said, and then, just because that was the kind of person he was, he added, “I _missed_ you, Bam.”

Bambam didn’t even have to think twice. “I missed you too. I missed you _so much_.” He had never been one for cheesiness – the very _thought_ of it made him cringe – but the past three days had legitimately felt like three very long, very awful years.

He was glad that the killers had been caught, not because he gave a single shit about them or the guy they’d killed (although even _he_ didn’t think Mark had deserved that), but because of what it meant for him and Yugyeom. Because it meant that he was here, his face inches from his boyfriend’s, and he was more content than he had been all week.

(Bambam had never claimed to be a nice guy.)

“Let’s get out of here,” he said suddenly, nudging Yugyeom’s shoulder with his own and throwing in a smile for good measure. “Dinner off-campus. We won’t even _think_ about any of this. How does that sound?”

Yugyeom beamed, just as Bambam had known he would. He was so very easy to please, and that fact made Bambam a little sad. Innocence didn’t last very long in this world, but he would guard Yugyeom’s for as long as he could.

They saw Youngjae on the way out, sitting on a bench with an air of listlessness about him, watching his little white dog run about on the grass. Jackson sat less than a foot away, head lowered, a sliver of space between them. Bambam watched the pair for a moment and wondered if they had, perhaps, bonded over their shared grief – but somehow the two of them couldn’t have looked further apart, each of them lost in the depths of their own thoughts.

When he turned away, it was to find Yugyeom already staring at him, dark bruises beneath his eyes and a slight droop of exhaustion to his smile, but still the most perfect sight Bambam had ever seen. He squeezed Yugyeom’s hand and Yugyeom squeezed back, and everything was as simple as that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some thoughts that occurred to me while writing (feel free to skip): tbh I think that the reason we all found Yugyeom so dang suspicious/creepy/psychopathic is because he came across as so unnaturally childlike. Like he was so enthusiastic and cheerful about everything, and in his messages to Mark he acted a lot like a preteen/teen would when asking for something. You have the initial request ('why can't u tutor me anymore?!'), the cutesy whining ('nu huhhhh i don't believe u') and finally the cold shoulder/tantrum ('ok fine.'). And then of course you have the sheer strength of his hero worship of Mark. It was just really weird that he was acting like this as a (presumably) 20-year-old and I think that threw us off a lot (I know it weirded _me_ out), so we all assumed he was faking/hiding something. Which, joke's on us, he wasn't lol.
> 
> But anyway yeah, that's why there's a bit of focus on his innocence here; I just wanted to portray him as being constantly like that. Childlike, sweet-natured, easy to forgive but also quick to anger.


End file.
